Hi, mama, even though I 100% believe in the benefits of nursing your baby to sleep, I’m going to tell you a secret. For the first 3 months of my baby’s life, I hid the fact that I was doing it because I felt shame.
Dumb, right?
Why did I feel so much shame for implementing something so biologically normal? Well, it’s simple. I was a clueless, new mom and believed the lies on the Internet that told me nursing my baby to sleep would create horrible, impossible-to-break habits.
LIES.
By the end of this article, you’ll have plenty of reasons to ditch the shame and embrace the magical superpower of feeding your baby to sleep!
First off, I commend you for listening to your mama gut and making choices that go against mainstream parenting advice. You are smart, mama. Now let’s get you equipped with some reasons to embrace the “boob to bed” movement.
Here’s what you’ll find in this magical guide:
- Why Is Nursing To Sleep Villainized?
- The Africans Know What’s Up
- Benefits Of Nursing To Sleep
- The Nights Are Long, But The Weeks Are Short
Why Is Nursing To Sleep Villainized?
Mama, where the heck did the crap lie come from that tells us nursing our baby to sleep is creating horrible habits? Whoever created that lie obviously does not give a rip about all of the crazy amazing benefits of nursing to sleep.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Nursing baby to sleep does put extra demands on mama. I’m not denying that.
In the first year of my baby’s life, I’ve breastfed him to sleep every night and back to sleep every time he wakes up. It hasn’t been easy, but, like anything else in life, the choices that have the greatest benefits are usually not the easiest.
Before I birthed my baby, I had grand plans of pumping, getting him used to the bottle straight away, and involving my husband in the bedtime/overnight party.
Well, that just didn’t happen. My husband was consumed with work when Isaiah was born, and there was no way I could expect him to be up all night and then go out all day and work. Am I saying that mothering is not also freaking hard work? Heck, no, but I figured one of us had to be at least somewhat functional. Therefore, I took on the bedtime/overnight responsibilities from the start. It’s not been easy, but, honestly, I have zero regrets.
The Influence Of Sleep Trainers
If you’ve read any of my other articles, you’ve likely picked up by now that I’m not a fan of sleep trainers. Like NOT a fan.
I think they are wolves in sheep clothing. That sounds harsh, but it’s my opinion. Even the self-proclaimed gentle sleep trainers always end up doing some kind of CIO method at some point. Their ideas are just boxed up in a prettier, less traumatic sounding package. It’s not for me and my baby, thank you very much.
Taking on the sleep responsibilities with Isaiah definitely brought on plenty of sleep deprivation. Your girl was TIRED. So, of course, I took a glance at the advice of the sleep trainers. Without fail, they always made me feel bad about my choice to breastfeed to sleep. I was doing a big no-no in their eyes.
However, their advice always felt wrong to me, though. It’s like they didn’t even care about the obvious benefits of nursing my baby to sleep. It felt like the baby didn’t matter. Mama needs sleep, and it doesn’t matter what that means for baby.
Yes, I’m dramatic, but I imagine there are others who’ve felt the same about sleep training, and that’s why you’re even reading this in the first place.
In my opinion, money is the bottom line, here. If the sleep trainers can convince us that nursing to sleep is so horrible, we’ll need help breaking that horrible habit. Take my money, sleep trainers! But, no, not really. I’ll keep my money, and I’ll keep nursing to sleep, thanks.
The Push For Baby Independence
Is it just me, or does it feel like we are trying to push our baby out the door before they’re even walking? In our fast-paced, ultra independent society, nursing to sleep definitely doesn’t align with the intense push for quick independence.
I know this might sound weird, but it’s almost as if I’ve felt weak for my parenting choices. If I were stronger, surely I’d be able to sleep train, night wean sooner, and create more distance between me and my baby. Now, I don’t fully believe those things, but there are definitely some hints of those faulty thoughts in my brain due to all the crap I’ve read online.
Why is it such a bad thing to dote on my tiny baby for as long as possible and smother him with responsiveness, comfort, and assurance that his needs and cries will be met every time, no matter how many times he needs me? There is an opposing voice to all the independence talk that says dependence actually helps foster future independence. Now that feels right to me.
Lastly, I’ve not heard any mother ever complain that her 15 year old is too attached to her. It’s always the opposite. All the mommies I know are crying because their precious little babies want nothing to do with them when they get older. So I’ll dote on my teeny tiny boy as much as I dang well please, and I’ll breastfeed him to sleep for as long as he needs it.
The Africans Know What’s Up
Early in my motherhood journey, I definitely had conflicting thoughts as to whether nursing to sleep was good, bad, helpful, or harmful.
One article that completely sold me on the power of the boob, was “Why African Babies Don’t Cry”. Read it. Thank me when you’re done.
If you’ve had even one doubt that what you are doing is wrong, this article will trash those doubts and having you embracing the boob for everything. I never felt more encouraged about my parenting choices than after reading that article.
Basically, the author discusses the mothering practices of Kenyan women. Anytime baby is upset, cranky, tired, anything really, they put baby on the boob. Talk about boob empowerment!
Prior to reading the article, I tried calming my baby and putting him to sleep with so many different methods. After reading it, I ditched all the crap advice I got, and started using my boobs all the time. I felt completely liberated to follow my instincts, and I’ve not looked back since. Seriously, my boobs are my superpower.
Benefits Of Nursing To Sleep
Breastmilk Is A Natural Baby Sedative
My favorite benefit of nursing to sleep is the magical sleep inducing powers it releases.
During the first few months of my baby’s life, I spent countless hours trying to make him fall asleep. My butt was glued to the bouncy ball, as it was the only method that seemed to calm him and eventually make him fall asleep. My brain is a little fuzzy when it comes to the newborn stage, but if I remember correctly, the only reason I didn’t put Isaiah on the boob more when he was cranky is because I bought into the dumb advice that you should only feed your baby every 2-3 hours, and you shouldn’t let them be on the boob too much for comfort.
If I could go back to myself, I’d slap me in the face. What dumb advice. I wonder if I would have spent less time bouncing, walking, swaying, and shooshing if I would have just let my breastmilk do what it does best: calm my baby and put him to sleep. Hindsight is always 20/20, right?
After I read the article I mentioned above about the African women utilizing the power of breastmilk, I fully surrendered to the boob. I plopped Isaiah on it all the time, and it was magical. It calmed him in a flash and put him to sleep within minutes.
As I did more research, I learned that the very act of sucking for breastmilk released hormones that would lull my baby to sleep. And we are advised not to implement this magical tool???? Why???? It actually makes me mad to think that I could have been soothing Isaiah in a very biologically normal way from the start, instead of being terrified that I was creating horrific habits.
Breastmilk Helps Baby AND Mama Sleep Better
Not only does nursing to sleep help baby, but it’s kind of a sleep sedative for mama, too. I’ll take two please!
When your baby breastfeeds, they aren’t the only one getting the good hormones. Prolactin and oxytocin, which act as natural sedatives, are released into mama’s bloodstream as well. Again, I’ll take two prolactins with a side of oxytocin.
I co-slept with Isaiah pretty much from day one because I quickly discovered it was just about the only way I’d get decent sleep, and now I know why. Every time he woke up and latched on, we were both getting a dose of sleepy juice.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Am I bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to take on the world every day? Not exactly.
While I’m far from getting the best sleep of my life, I’m managing, and in my world, that’s more than enough. Imagine if I had not utilized the power of my breastmilk! I’d likely be dead from sleep deprivation by now. Breastmilk saved my life. Thanks, breastmilk.
Nursing To Sleep Keeps Supply Sky High
Keeping the milkies supply bountiful is a massive benefit of nursing to sleep.
Since Isaiah was born, he’s been exclusively breastfed. While I’m so thankful I was able to do it, it definitely has not been an easy journey, and it’s been a great sacrifice to be his only source of milkies. My husband tried giving him a bottle one time, but it was a no-go, and I was just too lazy to go through the hassle of making Isaiah take a bottle. I am his bottle.
The fact that he’s on my boob about 5,489,357 times a day and night has kept my supply nice and high. I’d honestly be kind of terrified to cut out night feeds or try to limit his boob time. It’s been work keeping my supply up, and I’m too paranoid that the milkies supply would tank if I didn’t breastfeed him to sleep and all day.
Is that irrational thinking? Maybe, but I’m a mom. We do irrational really well, so you probably understand.
Breastmilk Is SMART
One of the most incredible benefits of nursing to sleep is that your breastmilk is working to provide your baby with just the right concoction of minerals and vitamins. Do you even know how smart your breastmilk is? It deserves a pulitzer prize.
Throughout the day, the cortisol level in breastmilk varies. In the morning, there is three times the amount of cortisol than at night. There is more melatonin in night milk. The amount of minerals and vitamins vary throughout the day, depending on when baby needs them most. The changing properties in breastmilk throughout the day help set baby’s circadian rhythm.
The magic of breastmilk is truly mind blowing, and knowing more about the science of it all has only made it even more apparent to me that we were, in fact, designed by nature to breastfeed to sleep!
Breastmilk is SMART. VERY smart. Let the science empower you to breastfeed your baby to sleep, because breastmilk knows what it’s doing. It’s way smarter than me. Therefore, I’ll continue nursing my baby to sleep and know that science is applauding my choices.
Nursing To Sleep And Self Soothing
Aw, self soothing. The great, mystical, and elusive self soothing.
In the first year of motherhood, I felt a ton of pressure to somehow teach my baby to self soothe. But here’s the kicker: self soothing doesn’t seem to count if it involves me. Self soothing, according to a lot of things I read online, only seems to be valid if baby can do it by themselves.
I have issues with that.
If my baby wakes up at night and looks for my boob because he wants to go back to sleep, isn’t that a form of self soothing? He’s soothing himself with breastmilk. How is that any different than using a pacifier to soothe? I’ve heard plenty of moms say that their baby wakes up at night, frantically looking for their pacifier, and mama then has to put the pacifier back in baby’s mouth.
Hmmm. Ok. Does that count as self soothing if mom had to help? I’m asking for a friend. (Wink)
Here’s what it comes down to, and I’m about to step on some toes, but I’m ok with that. What we really want is for baby to go to sleep, wake up, and fall back asleep without bothering us.
Hey, I’d love for that to happen, too, but I just don’t expect that from my little baby. It definitely happens more naturally for some babies, but that’s not been our case, and I’m done feeling bad about being my baby’s form of self soothing.
In my world, baby is self soothing when using breastmilk, therefore I count self soothing as one of the benefits of nursing to sleep. Tell me I’m wrong. I dare you.
The Nights Are Long, But The Weeks Are Short
Last, but certainly not least, and perhaps most importantly, we need to constantly remind ourselves that although it feels like we’ll be nursing our babies to sleep for the rest of eternity, it’s just not so. They won’t always need that level of support.
I’m only one year in on this journey, and I can already feel the time slipping by. While it’s not been easy, and I’ve been more sleep deprived and exhausted than any other time in my life, I have absolutely zero regrets about giving my baby everything I possibly can. I will never look back on the last year and say, “Gosh, if only I’d spent less time connecting with Isaiah. I really regret all that time I spent comforting and soothing him at night.”
Quite the contrary.
As unbelievable as it might sound, I actually miss those beginning months when things were wild. Sleep has improved overall throughout the first year, thankfully, but when I think back and remember the raw and organic moments in the night, just me and my bub, I grieve that those moments passed so quickly.
What I can offer you here is encouragement to keep following your gut, mama. You are biologically wired to connect with and nurture your little one. Your breastmilk was made to nourish your baby physically, mentally, and emotionally. The benefits of nursing to sleep are worth it, so don’t give anyone the power to make you feel bad about doing it. It’s the most beautiful gift you can give your precious baby and yourself.
You might be interested in these articles as well:
8 Annoying Sleep Training Rules That Didn’t Work For Me
5 Survival Tips For Mamas Who Don’t Want To Sleep Train
5 Reasons Maternal Instinct Is Dying
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