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Becoming a new mom was like a massive slap in the face to every part of my life: physically, mentally and emotionally. I was somewhat unprepared for what sat beyond giving birth. I’ve learned some valuable survival skills on my mommy journey, and it is my joy to share with you 7 tools you NEED to implement on your new mom journey. Grab a notebook. You’ll want to take notes.
The Tools Every New Mom NEEDS
Giving birth and transitioning to motherhood has been a wild ride. I feel like I’ve been through mama bootcamp.
We moved to Australia when I was 29 weeks pregnant, so I didn’t have a huge community surrounding me and supporting me in my third trimester. Since we had just moved and my husband had started a new job, he wasn’t planning to take too much time off work after our guy was born. Therefore, I knew I’d better have a good post-birth plan in place if I was going to survive at all as a new mom.
Some of the tools I picked up along the way were ones I implemented before giving birth while others were gems I picked up along the way. Either way, if I ever have another baby, I will be doing the same things and probably even adding more tools.
But for now, here’s a list that will get you started and well on your way to being a healthy, thriving new mom.
Nutrition!!!
As a new mom, focusing on proper nutrition will be imperative. In my book, it’s a non-negotiable. Sadly, I feel like our society does not really focus on intentionally nurturing new mothers through nutrition.
Think about it. When you imagine the postpartum experience in America, is there any specific nutritional advice that comes to mind? I can’t think of anything specific.
If we look to other countries, we can get some valuable ideas. In South Korea, new moms eat seaweed soup like their life depends on it. In China, new moms are fed warm foods such as rice porridge, eggs, and herbal teas. When women give birth in Japan, they are immediately fed a massive feast of nurturing, luxurious foods.
Now let’s travel back to America. What postnatal nutrition practices do we follow? It seems we definitely don’t hold the same value for postnatal nourishment as other countries. Things obviously need to change in this area, and I know there are a lot of women who are working hard to educate new moms and equip them with the info they need to properly replenish their postnatal bodies.
Postnatal bodies need lots and lots of restorative foods. Think in terms of bone broth, warm soups, curries, rich and healthy fats, herbal teas, etc. My goal here is not to load you up with nutritional info. I’d be here all day, and we’ve got lots more to cover. For now, I’ll give you a fantastic resource to get you started.
If you want to nourish yourself well after giving birth, you NEED the book The First Forty Days: The Essential Art Of Nourishing The New Mother. It was my go-to for sound, postnatal food education.
Human Connection
New mom life can be unfathomably lonely.
In my situation, we had just moved to a new continent, meaning I didn’t have a thriving community. I knew two people in Melbourne. Through those two people I met others and became fast friends with them. I was on a mission to build community.
Boy am I glad I did that! That little community I built prior to giving birth became my postnatal lifeline.
I was intentional, and it paid off. Every week, I invited a friend over to sit with me while my little guy slept. Those weekly interactions were incredibly life giving, and I can’t even imagine my experience without those friends.
So what if you don’t have a great community, and you don’t have a lot of family around you?
Honestly it doesn’t take a large number of friends. You only need one or two. If you’ve got one good friend, and you communicate with them your need for connection, I guarantee they will make time for you. Be honest with them about your needs. It’s ok to need someone during the postnatal journey.
Positive Self Talk
The mind of a new mom is like the wild, wild west. I was up one minute, down the next.
This is a tool I was not intentional about using, but it’s one I’d 100% implement in any future postnatal experience. Heck, this is a tool I use NOW, and my baby is currently a toddler.
Mom self talk can be brutal. There’s so much opportunity for comparison, guilt, shaming, etc. But the truth is you’re a brilliant mommy, and you’re doing the very best job you could ever do.
As a mom, not even just a new mom, I know I’ve gotta be quick to identify and replace nasty, negative thoughts. It’s so easy to feel like I’m not enough or I’m not doing enough. Those. Are. Lies.
An easy practice to implement is simply writing positive self-talk on sticky notes and posting them around the house. Here are a few examples to get your brain churning:
I’m the best mom for my baby.
Today, I am enough.
I am a good mom.
I am unique, and I celebrate who I am as a mom.
You get the point. Really celebrate who you are and dig deep to uncover the lies you are believing so you can write the opposite thought (the positive truth) on a post-it. For instance, if you are feeling like you aren’t beautiful in your new mom body, maybe the post-it will say “My body is incredible. I am nourishing my baby, and I am beautiful.”
Positive self talk is a simple yet incredibly powerful tool.
Special Self Care Products
Every new mom deserves to be spoiled every day. You just birthed a human, and it’s ok to splurge on products that make you feel beautiful, special, and celebrated.
Before I gave birth, I researched different postnatal food delivery services in Australia. I was delighted to find gorgeous options, and I knew investing in healthy food delivery was going to be super impactful on my postnatal journey. The company I chose delivered the most delectable, nourishing meals to my apartment every week. I truly felt like a goddess when I ate that food. In fact, part of me would have another baby just to do the food delivery again. It was THAT good.
Granted, the service I chose was an investment in my health and postnatal journey, and I understand not everyone can afford something like that. To be honest, a family member generously gifted me the food delivery service, so I totally understand if it’s outside your financial reach. You don’t have to do something so grand in your own journey. Or, if you do want something like that, put it on your baby registry so friends and family can help with the financial part.
You might find a local midwife who can come give you a massage, invest in some beautiful bath salts, have your husband buy some special ingredients and make you a gorgeous meal. It doesn’t have to be something wildly expensive to make you feel special. Heck, something so simple as having your favorite coffee everyday does WONDERS for the morale.
Whatever you choose, just make sure it’s something that makes you feel like a frigging goddess of a woman. YOU DESERVE IT!
Empowering Social Media Influence
There is enough pressure and unrealistic expectations shoved in the face of a new mom without taking into account the never ending feed of social media garbage.
When I became a mom, I had a heck of a lot of time to scroll through social media, and it wasn’t helpful. I already felt clueless, like I was doing everything wrong. Add to that crazy brain mix the influencer moms who “has it all together” and looks like they just stepped out of a Barbie movie immediately after giving birth.
I quickly realized that I had to be extremely choosey about which accounts I let into my world. If an influencer made me feel pooh-pooh about myself, I said adios and unfollowed them. You’ve gotta be brutal. At the slightest hint of comparison and jealousy, nip it. Mute that account. Unfollow them.
Find accounts and social media influencers that empower you and show you the more realistic side of motherhood. There is plenty of fake stuff out there, and we just don’t have time for that.
Grace And Kindness
Grace and kindness are my favorite new mom tools. While these two incredible resources are often overlooked, the power they possess is undeniable.
It’s easy to be mean to ourselves and set expectations way too high. As a new mama, you might feel like you’re doing it all wrong, you have no idea what you’re doing, and everyone else is doing better than you.
Oh, I can certainly relate to those feelings. I’ve had all of those and more. However, the truth is we are doing the best we can, and the sooner we can activate grace and kindness toward ourselves, the better off we’ll be. In fact, our baby will be better off too because mama might not be feeling so depressed if she’s practicing grace and kindness.
Let’s revisit the post-it notes I discussed earlier. One of the post-its you have stuck around the house might say, “Be kind to yourself, today” or “Give yourself grace today.” Simply having the reminder looking you in the face might be just enough to turn the grace and kindness switches on in your brain.
It’s going to take time to work out who and what you are in this new space, and that’s ok. You’ve got time, and you’ve got space.
Beautiful Daily Ritual
Creating a beautiful daily ritual is a simple but easy tool to implement.
As you step into the gorgeous role of mother, you might feel like you’ve lost yourself and may experience a bit of an identity crisis. I sure did. After I gave birth, my life changed ways I couldn’t have ever fathomed. I felt like I had not even one moment of time for myself, and I was at the mercy of my baby. He was my master.
That’s really normal if you feel that in the beginning of motherhood. You might even feel that for a long time. That’s why this tool is so so crucial.
As I eventually got my feet on the ground again, I realized I needed a daily event, a ritual of sorts, that was just for me. Granted, I was still at the mercy of my tiny human, so I didn’t have hours on end to devote to myself. It didn’t matter. I just needed SOMETHING that was mine.
For me, I made a point to put my boy in the carrier, take a walk to a local coffee shop, and get a coffee and yummy treat. I didn’t even get to sit down with my treats because my little guy preferred that I walk. At that time, walking and sipping a coffee was heaven. It was enough.
As time passes, I’m able to do more things for myself in the day, and you’ll get there, too. For now, focus on something simple.
The Wrap-Up
You’re doing such a great job, mama. Transitioning to motherhood is no joke. I hope the tools I’ve given you will help make the experience a bit more enjoyable. I know you’ll likely discover some tools that are unique to your experience as well.
I’d love to hear what those tools are!
In the comments, let me know what tools have impacted you the most in your mom life or what tools you plan to implement. How do you get through the days with your sanity still in tact? We need all the help we can get, and I can’t wait to hear what has helped you.
Sending all the love to you, beautiful mama!
Be Sure To Check Out These Other Guides:
5 Reasons Maternal Instinct Is Dying
4 Simple Strategies That Cultivate Maternal Instinct
7 Liberating Reasons To Embrace Contact Naps
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