Let’s face it, in most cases, being a mom is a thankless profession. It’s HARD work, and we don’t have a boss or paycheck to encourage and affirm our work. The day-in and day-out grind can really leave moms feeling unappreciated and undervalued. While things can feel low, there is a way to maintain joy on this journey. Let’s unpack the real key to HAPPINESS in motherhood.
It’s Not All In Our Head: Some Validating Findings
Being a mom is hard whether you’re a SAHM, work outside the home mom, or any combination of the two. There seems to be a battle among moms concerning who’s version of motherhood is “hardest”. I’m not here to argue about that, but as a SAHM myself, I understand the struggles that come with being a SAHM, so I’m going to stick to what I know.
SAHMs go through their own set of struggles, and there is sound research to validate the feelings of loneliness, depression, etc SAHMs might experience.
Here are some key findings from various studies:
Self-Care and Mental Health: The lack of time for self-care and personal interests is a common issue for stay-at-home moms, which can negatively impact mental health.
Increased Risk of Depression: Research indicates that stay-at-home moms are at a higher risk of experiencing depression compared to working mothers. This increased risk is often linked to social isolation, lack of adult interaction, and the stress associated with full-time caregiving.
Impact of Social Support: Studies consistently highlight the importance of social support in mitigating feelings of loneliness and depression among stay-at-home moms. Those with strong support networks, whether through family, friends, or community groups, tend to report better mental health outcomes.
Identity and Role Challenges: The transition to becoming a stay-at-home mom can bring significant changes in identity and daily roles. Many women report feeling a loss of identity and purpose, which can contribute to feelings of loneliness and depression.
Economic and Societal Pressures: Economic stress and societal expectations can exacerbate mental health issues for stay-at-home moms. The financial strain of living on a single income and the societal undervaluation of domestic labor can contribute to feelings of inadequacy and isolation.
But Wait, There’s More!
It’s so important to have research to back what we say. Here are some specific studies and their findings concerning the challenges of being a SAHM.
1. “Stay-at-Home Mothers: Definition and Characteristics Based on 17 Years of CPS Data” (Pew Research Center, 2014)
This report analyzes data from the Current Population Survey (CPS) over 17 years to define and characterize stay-at-home mothers. It provides insights into the demographics, economic conditions, and mental health challenges faced by stay-at-home mothers, highlighting how social isolation and lack of support can lead to increased feelings of loneliness and depression.
2. “Depression in stay-at-home mothers: research, theory, and practice” (Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 2010)
This article reviews the research on depression among stay-at-home mothers, discussing various theoretical perspectives and practical implications. It identifies key risk factors, such as social isolation, lack of adult interaction, and the stress of full-time caregiving, and suggests interventions to address these challenges.
3. “Social support and maternal mental health in the postpartum period: A meta-analysis” (Journal of Affective Disorders, 2017)
This meta-analysis examines the relationship between social support and maternal mental health, focusing on the postpartum period. It finds that strong social support is crucial in mitigating feelings of loneliness and depression among stay-at-home mothers, emphasizing the need for community and family support networks.
4. “Work status and maternal depression in low-income urban women: A mixed-methods observational study” (Archives of Women’s Mental Health, 2013)
This study explores the differences in mental health between working and stay-at-home mothers in low-income urban settings. It finds that stay-at-home mothers are more likely to experience depression due to economic stress, social isolation, and the lack of support structures, highlighting the importance of targeted mental health interventions for this group.
These studies collectively underscore the importance of social support, self-care, and targeted interventions in addressing the mental health challenges faced by stay-at-home mothers.
Ways To Cultivate Happiness in Motherhood
Now that we’ve got plenty of research and findings that validate the possible struggles of being a SAHM, where do we go from here? How do we cultivate happiness in motherood?
Well, there are plenty of solutions I could offer you. If you Google “key to happiness in motherhood”, you’ll likely find something like this:
- Start the day with prayer and Bible reading
- Join a local moms’ group or church fellowship
- Make time for regular exercise and healthy eating
- Schedule breaks for personal hobbies and relaxation
- Practice gratitude by keeping a daily journal
- Engage in family devotions and prayer time
- Find a mentor or accountability partner for support
- Participate in church activities and volunteer work
- Celebrate small moments and milestones with your children
- Set personal and family goals and celebrate progress
The ONE Key
The list above is solid, and all of the points are important, but I’m going to simplify things even more for you. Most of the things above require circumstances that aren’t necessarily in our control.
Maybe you haven’t found a local church or faith based mom’s group you connect with. Or maybe it’s really difficult to make time for journaling, exercise, hobbies, or anything else.
When it comes down to it, we don’t really have control over much. The only thing we do have control over is maintaining our connection to Jesus. Thank goodness we do, because that connection is the ONLY thing that can bring true happiness in motherhood.
The Bible gives us some great proof that Jesus is a crucial ingredient when it comes to happiness and joy.
- Nehemiah 8:10: “Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”
- Psalm 16:11: “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
- Psalm 28:7: “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.”
- Romans 15:13: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
- 1 Peter 1:8: “Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy.”
When All Else Fails
When time is limited and resources are stretched thin on your mama journey, never take your eyes off of Jesus. While you’re juggling the craziness of the day, keep Jesus in your mind.
Here are some practical things you can do to maintain connection to Jesus throughout the day and hold onto happiness in motherhood:
- Write out encouraging verses and hang them around your home
- Create reminders on your phone that go off here and there throughout the day, reminding you to shift your focus back to Jesus
- Play worship music in the background to help cultivate a peaceful environment at home
- When your kids want to read stories, read a children’s Bible or biblical children’s stories
- Wake up 5 minutes early, so you can do a quick devotion and prayer, setting your day up for success
- If possible, while you are cleaning or making dinner, put on an encouraging sermom or podcast
A Powerful Prayer
Dear Heavenly Father,
I come before You today with a heart full of gratitude and humility. I thank You for the precious gift of motherhood and for the blessings of my children. Lord, I ask for Your joy to fill my heart each day. Help me to find delight in the small moments and to see Your goodness in every aspect of my life.
Grant me Your strength, Lord, to face the challenges and demands of motherhood with grace and patience. When I feel weary and overwhelmed, remind me that Your joy is my strength and that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Father, keep me close to You throughout the day. Help me to maintain a constant connection with You through prayer, Your Word, and worship. Let Your presence be my source of peace and comfort, guiding me in every decision and action.
Thank You for Your unfailing love and support. I trust in Your promises and lean on You for the joy and strength I need. May my life be a reflection of Your love and grace, bringing glory to Your name.
In Jesus’ name, I pray.
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