Are you experiencing mom anxiety and intrusive thoughts? You’re not alone! The brain of a mom can resemble a war zone: fear, overwhelm, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, etc. Believe me. I’m a mom. I know. Thankfully, we are not powerless to these harsh feelings and emotions that try to paralyze us. There is one specific tool that can quickly crush mom anxiety: GRATITUDE.
Don’t believe me? Let’s unpack this a bit further.
Time To Get “Science-y”: Anxiety vs Gratitude
Anxiety is a common experience among mothers, often triggered by the immense responsibility of caring for a child. It is characterized by feelings of worry, fear, and apprehension, which can lead to intrusive thoughts—unwanted and often distressing ideas or images that intrude into one’s mind. These thoughts can be particularly troubling for mothers, as they may revolve around the well-being and safety of their children.
From a neuroscientific perspective, anxiety activates the amygdala, the brain’s fear center, which in turn triggers the release of stress hormones like cortisol. This response is part of the body’s fight-or-flight mechanism, preparing us to deal with perceived threats. However, when anxiety becomes chronic, it can lead to an overactive amygdala, making it difficult to break the cycle of worry and fear.
In contrast, gratitude engages different neural pathways. It activates the brain’s reward system, including the prefrontal cortex and the anterior cingulate cortex, which are associated with positive emotions and feelings of well-being. Practicing gratitude leads to the release of neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin, which help regulate mood and promote a sense of happiness and contentment.
The key finding from recent neuroscience research is that anxiety and gratitude are mutually exclusive states in the brain. This means that when we focus on gratitude, we activate neural circuits that can inhibit the pathways responsible for anxiety. Essentially, it is difficult for the brain to maintain a state of anxiety while also experiencing gratitude.
This scientific understanding opens up a practical pathway for mothers seeking to manage their anxiety. By cultivating a habit of gratitude, it is possible to shift the brain’s focus away from worry and fear, thereby reducing the occurrence of intrusive thoughts.
What Does The Bible Say?
The above science is extraordinary and shows that gratitude really is effective at crushing mom anxiety, but what does the Bible say about all of this?
Matthew 6: 25-34
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Do Not Worry
God clearly instructs us not to worry. Easier said than done, am I right??
As a mom, I can testify that I often worry about my family, especially my child. This is quite normal because mama bears love their kids fiercely and want the best for them.
However, worry doesn’t do anything to help our children. It simply robs us from being present in the moment and experiencing the true joys of motherhood. In the passage above, God challenges us to let go of the worry and let Him take care of things. He takes care of all nature. Why wouldn’t he take care of us?
Gosh, it can be so hard to shift from worry and anxiety, but the fact that we do have a loving Father who wants to carry the worry for us is pretty incredible, offers so much peace, and gives us permission to let go of the worries.
Philippians 4: 4-9
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
Accessing the Peace of God
What an incredible promise! God promises peace when we offer our worries to Him in prayer and set our minds on things that are right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy. When we set our mind on those kinds of things, anxiety and intrusive thoughts flee.
The negative thoughts feed on worry and fear. When we set our mind of the good stuff, the yucky thoughts don’t want to be around.
It’s a really simple equation, but it’s sometimes hard to stay focused on gratitude and lovely things.
Sometimes, I have to swing my gaze back to the good and lovely things over and over and over again throughout the day. Other days, it’s not so hard, but when mom anxiety is really rearing it’s ugly head, us moms have to buckle down and get serious about fixing our mind on gratitude.
Real Life Example
We all have our areas of weakness, where we struggle with anxious and intrusive thoughts. It helps to have a real life example, so I’ll share a personal one with you.
I had a very hard journey while trying to grow our family. Our first baby had severe medical complications, and I had to birth him at 17 weeks. Obviously, he didn’t live. It just about broke me. Our second pregnancy ended at 8 weeks with a missed miscarriage.
By the grace of God, we had a successful third pregnancy.
We likely won’t have another baby, and some days, I really struggle with the grief of that. There are all kinds of intrusive thoughts that fill my mind.
You’re not a valid mom until you have more than one child.
You’re doing your son a disservice by not having more children.
Other moms are so much fulfilled because they have more than one child.
I will be more lonely when I get old because I only have one child.
I could list more silly lies, but I don’t want to possibly trigger mamas who might also struggle with similar thoughts.
When I get stuck in these kinds of thought cycles, the ONLY thing that gets me out is gratitude.
God, thank you so so much for blessing me with my baby boy. I know my story could have gone differently. Thank you for hearing my cry and blessing my womb to carry a healthy baby. I am highly blessed and favored because God has heard the deep cries of my heart and the deep longings to be a mama on Earth. No matter if I have 1 child or 5, I am a true mother. God will take of my sons needs for friendship and brotherhood.
Wow. Just typing that out gets me right out of the depths and catapults me into pure joy and thankfulness. I’m sure you can feel the difference between the gross thoughts and the prayer of gratitude.
Satan just wants to fill our mind with all kinds of lies, so it’s imperative that we immediately stomp on the lies and get truth deeply engrained in our hearts.
Keep Truth Visible
If you are struggling with anxiety and intrusive thoughts, don’t sit idly by. Take action.
Take out a piece of paper and a pen. Write down your worries and all of the intrusive thoughts you struggle with.
Now, on a different piece of paper, write down God’s truth. Cancel the lies with His truth.
Once you have your list of truths, put them somewhere you can see them daily. If necessary, put them in a very visible place like on the fridge. We don’t have time for the gross thoughts. Tackle the mom anxiety and intrusive thoughts today, and keep fighting to claim the joy and fullness you are promised through Jesus Christ.
All the prayers and love to you, mama!
Something To Watch
Click the video below to watch a great reel on the power of gratitude!
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